Crushed
by Set.Me.Free.123
Summary: Oneshot. Songfic. Max thinks she's finally escaped. She thinks she can finally be happy. Then she finds out something that flips her world upside down...


**A/N: **Another one-shot...hah. Well, actually...another song-fic. Sort of. Well. Not sort of...but whatever. I'm going to stop rambling now...I think that'd be a good idea...right?

Right.

Disclaimer: I do not own Maximum Ride or anything related to it...her. Simply put, my name is not, nor has it ever been, James Patterson. (Or Maximum Ride...but wouldn't that be cool?)

Disclaimer #2: I do not own "No It Isn't". Or (+44). But if I did, they'd write me lyrics 24/7.

* * *

_Crushed_

--

_Max! Max!_

His cries echoed in my head.

_Max! Maximum!_

But I couldn't turn back now—I had made my choice. He'd made his, and I'd made mine. It was over.

_**Please understand  
This isn't just goodbye  
This is I can't stand you**_

Tears were streaming down my cheeks, but I wasn't sure why. This was what I wanted, right? Freedom. It was what I'd fought for my entire life. The end had finally come; the climax, if you will. It snuck up on me and jumped out before I knew what was happening, and I took the risk without thought of consequence. I couldn't help but feel like I was slicing through icy water as I had done those four years ago, before The Capture. I couldn't help but feel like I was falling.

_  
**This is where the road crashed into the ocean  
It rises all around me  
And now we're barely breathing  
A thousand faces we'll choose to ignore**_

I took off shakily. I hadn't used my wings in so long. But I was free. _Free. _Did I even know the meaning of the word anymore? I didn't care that I was in a town, in the open, for all to see. I had always been so careful before, when I had been afraid of being taken. Well, I'd been taken. And it was horrible. I was never, _ever,_ going back. Ever. I just needed to get out. As fast as I could.

_Get out. _

**Curse my enemies forever**

I was flying so high; it felt great. Awesome. Exhilarating. I was _free._ But, still. That sense of brokenness didn't go away. What was wrong with me? I was _free, _God damn it! _Free. _Why wasn't I _happy?_

I couldn't take it. I landed in the canopy of the forest, falling to my knees and letting tears cascade down my cheeks. They felt odd; it had been so long since I'd cried. I laughed bitterly.

I was almost as stoic as Fang.

But, kidnapping does that to you. I sat up a bit, and, though my eyes were scratchy and sore, I judged the trees. They were gorgeous.

I hated them.

They were symbols of peace. I wanted them _gone. _They shouldn't be allowed to mislead people like that. The world wasn't beautiful; it sucked.

_  
**Let's slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful  
This desperation leaves me overjoyed  
With fading lights that leads us past the lives that we destroy**_

I kept my head down, though, and waited for a few moments, letting myself cool down, before I jumped up into space and unfurled my wings. I was going slowly at first, them—_bam!_ I hit warp drive. And I was going freaking _fast,_ man. Before I knew it, my wings were moving without my consent, and my nose was guiding me towards something. Someone. More like someone. Actually, more than one someone. _Someones. _The flock. It'd been so long…

Would they accept me? I glanced down, almost dropping from the sky in surprise. They were flying…_right below me._ My heart quickened. Had they seen me?

"Max? MAX! Guys—Max!" I heard Angel scream.

_Well, speak of the Devil…_

In a millisecond, I was bombarded with tackle-hugs and licks (from Total, of course), but they were short-lived, because we began to drop out of the sky, and none of us fancied being mutant-pancakes. Angel, Gazzy, and Nudge were crying, and Iggy, Total, and Fang were smiling like idiots.

And, yes, I did say _Fang. _

**I listen to you cry  
I cry for less attention**

We landed less than gracefully, but the flock was happy. The question that nagged me, though, was: _why wasn't I? _I was finally back with my family; what could be wrong?

"Max!" Nudge screeched, "I missed you so much! Well, I guess we all did…but I missed you a whole ton! Where were you? What were you doing? Why'd you go? Are you okay? Do you still love us?" My mouth hung open in shock.

_Do you still love us?_

"She still loves us," Angel supplied. I nodded numbly. _How could they even think…?_

"Where were you?" Gazzy asked, sounding very small and scared. The nagging feeling hit me again. I just shook my head.

_  
**But both my hands are tied  
And I'm pushed into the deep end  
I listen to you talk but talk is cheap  
And my mouth is filled with blood  
From trying not to speak**_

"Ari took her," Fang muttered. My mouth hung open. He _knew_?

"I'm sorry, Max," he whispered. And then he turned away from me.

"Ari…was...right," I managed to murmur in disbelief. Fang shook his head, still not looking at me.

"Max—we…we just…"

"No," I whispered, "You didn't just. You _left_ me."

_  
**So search for an excuse  
And someone to believe you  
In foreign dressing rooms**_

"Max, we—" Iggy began. I looked around at the flock; they weren't crying. In fact, Angel was smiling. Evilly. I glanced at her, and then back at Fang. Finally, I whispered, "You aren't leader, are you, Fang?" He didn't answer.

But his silence was good enough.

_  
**I'm empty with the need to  
Curse my enemies forever**_

Ari had been right. The nagging feeling—I recognized it now. Guilt. I ran away from the only one who ever truly loved me. How could the flock betray me? But it didn't matter. All that mattered was that I get out of there before I broke down.

_  
**Let's slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful**_

So I ran. Jumped. Flew. Maybe—would he forgive me? The flock was dead to me, and it hurt. But Ari—

Ari would forgive me.

_  
**This desperation is leaving me overjoyed**_

Could I live without the flock? I'd been managing, with just me and Ari, I'd managed. Could I do it if I knew they didn't want me?

_  
**With fading lights that leads us past the lives that we destroy**_

From below, I heard a low voice yell my name. It could've been any of the boys, it could have been my imagination.

Something deep inside me told me that it had been Fang.

But it didn't matter. I had already hit top speed.

**Please understand  
This isn't just goodbye  
This is I can't stand you**


End file.
